How would you react to being robbed while enjoying a meal at your local restaurant? If you’re anything like DeQuincy, Louisiana resident, Paul Horner, you’d simply quote Pulp Fiction to make the robbers run away.

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It was really lucky that I had my wallet with me that said ‘bad motherf*cker’ on it. The robbers came around demanding everybody’s wallet and I just held it up, you know like how Samuel L. Jackson did in Pulp Fiction.

Then he continued, in what he called, his “best tough black guy voice.”

Normally, both your asses would be dead as f*cking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this sh*t while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you.

Apparently that craziness was enough for the robbers to run away but the story doesn’t end there. A restaurant patron asked Horner if he was OK and this was his response. “Shut the f*ck up fat man! This ain’t none of your go*damn business.” The man apologized and told him he thought the cops were on the way. So naturally, Horner’s reply was…

I don’t wanna hear about no motherf*ckin’ ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, you ain’t got no problem, Paul. I’m on the motherf*cker. Go back in there, chill them n*ggas out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.

Get your own BMF Wallet here and watch Jules break it down in this clip.

Now that we’ve had our laughs – full disclosure, this news is from the National Report. Read the full story here.

*National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report are fiction, and presumably fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. The views expressed by writers on this site are theirs alone and are not reflective of the fine journalistic and editorial integrity of National Report. Advice given is NOT to be construed as professional. If you are in need of professional help (and you may be if you are on this page), please consult a professional. National Report is intended for a mature audience and not for children under the age of 18.

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